Doctor Who

"I demand to know, how you got in!" The Doctor repeated grumpily.
"I regenerated," the woman kept shouting. "I can't find my tattoo!"
"Grandfather," Susan said. "You know the Corsair!"
"Yes, the Time Lord who ran away from the initiation after one look at the Untempered Schism," the Doctor smirked.
"I heard you think you're special," he continued. "With your Ouroboros destiny. Whatever that is."
"I'll do it - I have that kit from Marco Polo's expedition."
***
Smiling, the Corsair admired his Ouroboros tattoo.
"Thanks, old man."
"Still the first body, Doctor?" He continued. "Don't worry, you'll get something better eventually."

Two men sprinted side by side.
"What do they want?" the Doctor asked.
"They demand everything."
The Doctor looked back, letting his experienced legs avoid obstacles. The aliens' seemed deadly, but those were just first expressions.
"Have you tried saying no?"
"Not really," the man answered.
They turned to face the creatures.
"We demand...," the two aliens started together.
"No!" The man said firmly.
The creatures leaned back, confused. They conversed in high-pitched squeeks.
Then, they turned to the two men, who barely dodged their weapons.
"Time for plan B," the Doctor thought. "And to prepare plans C to F."

"Professor," Ace distracted the Doctor from frowning at her deadly gear. "Why don't you have a phone or anything here? Even on Earth they got those cellphone thingies mere years after I was whisked off to Iceworld."
The Doctor looked from the blaster to her: "I have the spacetime telegraph."
"Telegraph? That's ancient technology even by my standards."
"Well, the Time Lords are a pretentious bunch. Mere communicator is below them."
"But why don't you have any?"
The Doctor smiled and tapped his nose conspiratorially. He left Ace's room.
"She's right. Maybe I'll get one of those cellphones one day."

The Doctor's chair was strangely clacking as he wheeled it to a mirror.
"It could be worse," he mumbled.
The new body wasn't human. Although, give it millennia on alien worlds and the extra limbs, eyes, and ears could pass as human.
But he wasn't ginger. Granted, he had no hair, but the scalp could have been ginger!
Another mysterious click accompanied by a cracking noise came from his chair.
The Doctor didn't enjoy the morsel - maybe he had been human for too long.
"Wait, I didn't eat anything!"
He turned and bowed down, watching himself in the mirror.
"Oh..."

The Dalek and the Doctor acted simultaneously. The threat was eliminated, but the Doctor was hit. And the screwdriver died.
He staggered into his ship and sat down.
"Ouch," the Doctor jumped, before collapsing back into the chair.
"Ouch."
The Tardis tried everything, but it couldn't save the Doctor's life.
Energy flowed from every piece of the Doctor's clothing. Tardis instruments sparkled for effect - many Tardis-wrecking regenerations taught him the Tardis needed protection.
"Ah," the Doctor luxuriated.
He didn't bother to stand up for the regeneration.
"Finally, my backside fits the chair!"
Although, a weird click came from down there...

"Parking payment," a man proclaimed. "By death or taxes?"
The Doctor answered cheerfully: "Death."
"That never happened," the man stuttered. "Will you reconsider?"
"Well..."
"Perfect."
The Doctor's smile froze. A wave of paper-waving people was approaching. Valiantly trying to retreat, he tripped some using his scarf and disarmed others with a childish smile. But the wave eventually swallowed him.
The torrent of benefit- and discount-riddled tax schemes was threatening to pierce his eardrums.
"I'll pay by providing new tax schemes," he shouted when the noise ebbed.
As they stopped to discuss the suggestion's legality, the battered Doctor crawled to safety.

"...beautiful beauty," the Doctor tried luring a Word Lord from his word dimension.
An immaculately dressed man appeared.
"I need help with someone from your lexical-driven dimension."
'Nobody No-one,' the Doctor mouthed.
"Nobody?" the confused Cat answered.
Another man appeared.
The Cat gasped.
"What do you want?" Rimmer snarled. "I'm saving the multiverse from a madman."
Rimmer nodded in the Doctor's direction.
"You and whose brain?" The Cat retorted.
"Me, Hilly's clever version."
"What?" The Doctor watched newcomers confusedly.
"I invented you to distract Rimmer."
"But...," the Doctor's illusion vanished.
"I can return to Red Dwarf," Rimmer said.
"Oh, no!"

TARDIS stála uprostřed tmavého lesa a Doktor s Amy a Rorym se od ní pomalu vzdalovali.
„Co tu vlastně děláme, Doktore?“ zeptal se Rory.
„TARDIS zachytila nějaké tísňové signály.“
„Tady doopravdy někdo žije?“ zapochybovala Amy.
Po chvíli pátrání objevili jakési obydlí. Nebo spíš jeho zbytky, jako by bylo už dlouho opuštěné.
„Skener života hlásí nulu. To volání o pomoc už muselo být hodně staré. Vraťme se.“
A přece se na pěšině vedoucí k TARDIS všichni z neznámého důvodu otočili.
„Co tu vlastně děláme, Doktore?“ zeptal se Rory a měl nepříjemný pocit, že už se na tuto otázku zeptal mnohokrát předtím.

"Throw the ram down the hill, yes," the man repeated hopefully.
The Doctor frowned: "No, I don't understand."
"You don't know what is a tongue twister?"
"Yes, something like: 'He threw three free throws.'"
"That's not a tongue twister. How come you speak Czech so perfectly, but you can't get this?"
"Ah," the Doctor stretched to flip a switch. "Say it again."
"Cože? Sej it egen? Co to je?"
The Doctor frowned, probing his memory: "Znovu rekni."
"Shoď z kopce skopce."
"I see," the Doctor flipped the switch. "Now, what was the point?"
"I don't know," the man grinned.
"Oh..."

The years spent away changed Ace. It isn't just the professional soldiering - that only meant more explosives. There's something fishy about the way Ace is watching me and the Doctor. I need to keep an eye on her. But she mustn't find out...
***
Benny Summerfield certainly changed. There's something weird about the way she's watching me. Or was I just away for too long? Or is it my armour and blasters? No, something fishy's going on. Should I ask? No, better to follow her...
***
"Ladies?" The Doctor asked suspiciously.
"Just stretching my legs," they answered simultaneously, avoiding each other's gaze.