Soliloquy of a Woman Scorned

I used to wear lipstick. And dresses. And heels!!! I used to go to a hairdresser, get my Brazilian and my legs done, paint my nails (including toe-nails!). I used to get all done up and then sip good wine.
Now all I wear are leggings and sweatpants. Yes, they’re cozy, but you ever seen a man turn after a girl in slacks?! No heels anymore, either - they’re torture devices from hell! I can’t even fucking reach my fucking toes no more.
And the worst of it: I can’t even drink! I’m eight months pregnant and the asshole left me.